Oh, the Internet. It’s given us the ability to binge-watch obscure documentaries, waste hours on pointless games, and build sprawling social networks. It has also given us a unique insight into our brains: we, as humans, crave knowledge like nobody’s business. But while knowledge is wonderful, information can be dull as dishwater. Which brings us to today’s topic: student loans. Are you already yawning? Fear not, dear reader, because we are about to breathe some life into the wide, weary world of student loans.

Now, let’s kick things off by clearing the air: student loans suck. If you’re a student, they’re your future nemesis. If you’re a recent graduate, they’re probably already stalking you in the shadows. But don’t fret, my friend! With great loans comes great…information. Or something like that. Anyway, let’s dive into the swirling maelstrom of knowledge and tackle this beast together.

Fact: The average student loan debt in the United States is currently a mind-boggling $37,000. This number is not only higher than the annual salary of your local coffee-slinging barista, but it’s also climbing faster than your desire to eat pizza for every meal. When you break it down by state, the numbers get even scarier: students in the Northeast have the highest average debt, while the West Coast and Midwest battle for second place in this unfortunate race to financial ruin.

But wait! Don’t lose hope yet! There’s some good news too: the number of people defaulting on their student loans is decreasing. So, while we’re still collectively swimming in a sea of debt, we’re also slowly learning to tread water.

Now let’s bust some student loan myths. You may have heard that student loans are virtually impossible to discharge in bankruptcy. That’s true, but it’s not the full story. If you can prove “undue hardship” – which is basically legalese for “seriously, my life is in ruins because of these loans” – a judge can wipe away some or even all of your debt. Of course, actually proving this hardship is easier said than done. But hey, at least there’s a tiny, flickering glimmer of hope, right?

You might also be under the impression that your student loan interest rates are set in stone, but you’d be wrong. While the rates are indeed determined by the government, there’s a loophole: if you consolidate your loans, you can potentially lock in a lower interest rate. This move is a bit like capturing a rare Pokemon: tricky to pull off, but potentially very rewarding.

Speaking of rewards, let’s talk about student loan forgiveness. The world of loan forgiveness is a beautiful, magical place, filled with rainbows, unicorns, and forms in triplicate. While many loan forgiveness programs are reserved for public servants and other do-gooders, there are a few ways to potentially get your loans forgiven – or at least have them take up less space in your bank account. Income-driven repayment plans and some employer-sponsored programs are just a few of the tools in your loan-fighting arsenal.

Okay, folks, it’s time to bring this whirlwind tour of student loan facts to a close. Sure, student loans can be a crushing burden, a financial black hole that looms over your head for years. But with the right tools and knowledge, you can make them a slightly smaller black hole. After all, nobody ever said conquering a behemoth was easy. So, armed with these tidbits of information and an irreverent, youthful spirit, go forth and face your student loan foes with the strength and determination of a caffeinated squirrel. Or, at least, with the understanding that you’re not alone in the battle. Good luck, fellow debt warriors!